 | Someday | Feb 26, '08 5:40 AM
for everyone |
 I’ve been preoccupied with the notion of work. I’ve just realized that, in order to survive, people must do some sorts of work. Work brings money and money buys food, shelter, and other basic necessities. It doesn’t matter whether one grows food, opens clothing shops, becomes a movie-star, picks garbage, snatches purses, the act of earning sustenance must be performed in order to survive.
Compare that to a child: when we were young, we could skip doing our homework and the worst consequence is perhaps embarrassment of public announcement by the teacher to the class. But we can still go home, eat our meals, and sleep in our beds. No harm done (well.. perhaps, no tv-time).
As an adult, life is no longer so simple and for some strange reasons, the idea of earning sustenance has just hit me in the last few months. I’m rather lucky that my transition from a care-free child (as care-free as a serious kid like me can be) to a productive adult has been rather smooth. But perhaps, that’s the cause of my disconnect. I’ve never really felt I had to work to make a living.
I like my job and the people I work with. There are still so much to learn from all these people. The opportunity is extraordinarily rare, the experience priceless. However, I feel that I’ve changed. Nothing in that direction matters anymore. I can’t care less if my next posting is some sort of menial repetitive data-entry work or a high-brow position with my own office overlooking the whole city with a thousand troop to command. Call me foolish or arrogant for throwing away such good opportunity, my dream goes to the other direction. I’ve been rather obsessed with wanting to stay at home. If not to stop the evil alarm (Motorola’s latin loop tone) from ringing manically every morning, it is to rediscover myself: a grand phrase which basically means do nothing but pamper myself all day. But doing so, I’ll lose my financial independence which can be a scary thing for an Asian woman.
I’ve been drilled to earn my own keep and staying home, even if I chose the path of being a housewife with children, has never been presented to me as an option. Scary stories about penniless wives left to starve in destitute by their heartless husbands and their money-grubbing mistresses were my bed time stories. But I don’t buy it anymore. Maybe because I’m foolish (?) enough to feel secure in my husband that I decide to act only when his heart or, perhaps rather prejudicially, wanton wish, has been fulfilled by some other woman. It may be too late but so be it.
I dream of having some time to myself to reflect on my life, repossess my compassion, reduce my cynicism, and see the world from a different angle. I don’t know how long I will last in this kind of routine (a month is a good guess but I might enjoy it too much to make it forever) but, for now, I dream for this daily schedule: | 8:00 | Up. | | 8:00 – 9:30 | In front of the computer tending mails, blogs, news, etc while breakfasting on home-made bread and cakes and a bowl of latte or juice. | | 9:30 – 11:30 | Either do: a. Household work (clean the house, do laundry); or b. Heavy duty cooking (baking, experimenting new recipes - like making my own French fries and tomato ketchup - etc). | | 11:30 – 13:00 | Lunch! | | 13:00 – 16:00 | Either: a. Read at home; b. Go out with friends; c. Walk about aimlessly in the city; d. Go to library for more books; e. Take up a language course, do volunteer works, etc. | | 16:00 – 17:30 | Exercise! 30 minutes of cardio on the machine and 1 hour of yoga today. | | 17:30 – 18:30 | Prepare dinner. | | 18:30 - 19:30 | Dinner with husband. | | 19:30 – 23:00 | Watch TV, have some quality times with husband, read some more, do homework (if any), etc. | | 23:00 | Sleep! | I’m sure all of you can hear my heavy sigh. Someday…
 | ven... hiks... sama kayak yang gw pikirin... huhuhuhu... someday yaaa! :D |
 | ..Ven nanti ada masanya deh.. itu daily schedule, mirip dgn kehidupan gue skrg ini dgn bonus ada backing vokalnya teaaa anak-anak..he.he..he.. yaa mereka jg kali yg bikin hidup gue jadi penuh warna. *kalo ditanya bosen apa gak nya.. lebih banyak sukanya, gak bisa dinilai artinya, hanya bisa bersyukur diberi kenikmatan hidup... jadi jalanin seperti air mengalir |
 | gue gak yakin klo udah pernah kerja, trus elo bakal betah di rumah. kalo gue emang belum pernah ngantor, jd ya asik2 aja... belum pernah ada perbandingan... |
 | porca wrote on Feb 26, edited on Feb 26 Ven, you might try both first ;)
Well, after experiencing both (working 8-6 and doing-nothing-but-eat-sleep-watch tv- bake), I've decided to love my current schedule : mo-thurs: work, fri : bake or do anything/nothing,sat-sun : hubby days (which includes him cooking and cleaning for the house).
but, seriously, I'd rather work everyday than doing nothing or stay at home.
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 | merlyna wrote on Feb 26, edited on Feb 26 :) i smile ear-to-ear reading this posting. i don't know how to comment....
something just popped up my mind -- just based on what i read about you here in mp -- i think there's one type of job that might be ideal for you. a writer :) you're good -- actually great -- in it, you seem to love doing it. so you can do all things you love doing around the house.... and still have an outlet to release your energy (and some steam too ;)....
what do you think? ;)
p.s. or get a job like me :), i just have to show up in classes/office about 10-12 hours/week.... the rest is up to myself. i work at home, in the garden, coffee shops, etc.... |
 | tkmaia wrote on Feb 26, edited on Feb 26 yeah, you should take a 'break', a month or so and perhaps write a recipie/lifestyle book or something. I've always loved the way to describe your recipies .. and you have knack of finding really interesting ones too..
For myself, i don't think i will be bored at home as long as i can watch tv, eat, complain about current social and philosophical nature of humanity .. and not do chores (unless I want too).. aaa.. what a life! |
 | As a Stay-At-Home-Mom currently, I do get restless staying at home, believe it or not. I think I'd not feel this way if I have the necessary outlets to go to. For instance, there isn't exactly a canal just outside my door for me to traipse by. It's just dust and grime and noise pollution!
Having no car (since hubby drives it to work) also compounded to the problem.
Probably channelling my bountiful energy at volunteering work (as per your schedule) would do the trick ;) |
 | Here's my schedule now:
6.30 waking up, watching rerun of Friends and then The O.C., and then Ellen...and then E! News... bunch of gossip shows...
I thought I'd be doing more writing once I'm a freelancer. But the temptation from TV is just soo irresistible :))
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 | hi ven...hmmm....gue surprise juga ngebaca tulisan elo yang ini, gue pikir tipe orang sperti elo ga bakalan mau tinggal dirumah aza :D well, maybe pertama-tama elo kudu ngurangin jam kerja elo aza kali, misalnya work 3 times a week or ya itu elo bisa jadi writer so you can work from home or every where.
dulu gue selalu pengen kerja, tapi lately sadar diri kalo skarang2 ini gue belom bisa kerja dulu, ntar aza another year pas anak2 uda go to school every day baru gue mau kerja, itu juga part-time aza yang seminggu 2 or 3 times so masih bisa punya waktu untuk beberesan rumah,masak memasak, etc.
maybe elo feeling clucky, ven....:D it starts with nesting first....heheheee...eh salah donk ya?! |
 | Hee...hee.... I fully agree. I'd love to be a writer. In fact, rather than taking an MBA, if I were to go to school again, I'd take up a life-changing courses like writing? law? cooking? :D :D
PS: What a life!! |
| bookshop wrote on Feb 27, edited on Feb 27 Iyaaa! Chubby Hubby posted the recipe and I thought, this is the kind of nonsense I need to do :)). I also think it's fun even if I do it only once. I'm eternally curious about how store-bought, convenient food items are made and sometimes, I am very surprised that they are so easy to do at home. |
 | Ah, Venny...loe bikin gue pengen stay di rumah aja.
Apalagi kondisi di kantor lagi bikin bete. :)) |
| merlyna wrote on Feb 27, edited on Feb 27  Hee...hee.... I fully agree. I'd love to be a writer. In fact, rather than taking an MBA, if I were to go to school again, I'd take up a life-changing courses like writing? law? cooking? :D :D  hurray!!!!! V will become a pro writer (you're a writer already!)! i am excited. i do think you'd make a great op-ed writer.... either about serious issues or food-stuff... or just write complaint books!
take creative writing courses!!! do it fast... i cannot wait to read your first book. |
 | Ven, kalau belum punya anak, harus ada kegiatan supaya tidak bosen. kelihatannya kamu bisa jadi penulis.
kalau sudah punya anak seperti gue, apalagi buntut masih kecil-kecil...waaahhhhh, jam kerjanya panjang lho. sibuk!! apalagi kalau anak sakit... jam istirahatnya kalau anak pergi ke sekolah (tapi kudu berberes rumah & masak juga) |
 | Ah.. I can hear your sigh from here :) Ya, take time off, do something you want to do, be radical - try things like beading, painting, pottery, salsa... Best thing is: you can write about the experience afterwards ;-) |
 | Tiap orang beda2 sih Ven, gak semua orang bisa jalanin hidup 'enak' kayak yg lo ceritain di atas, kalau gua sih, gua yakin gak sampai 1 bulan gua udah bosan.... :) |
| bookshop wrote on Feb 27, edited on Feb 27 Tiap orang beda2 sih Ven Bener... :D
Yg bikin gue bingung setelah baca komen2 di sini (bukan karena komen elo yah Pet, tapi karena pas elo komen terakhir :p), kenapa schedule seperti itu dianggap membosankan yah? Padahal kan ada elemen experiment (masak yg rumit, mana tau jadi katering), volunteer work(membantu sesama), dan belajar bahasa (mana tau jadi guru les).
Dan yg juga menarik, gue perhatiin memang orang2 Asia (gak cuma teman2 di sini tapi juga temen2 gue org Singapur, China, apalah) lebih sering bilang hal2 seperti ini membosankan karena untuk kita, kalo gak kerja (dan kerja yg 'meaningful'), ngapain? Mereka lebih sering bilang, if I don't work I'll die, so I work until I die. Sementara kalo gue cerita ke temen2 gue yg org Swiss, dia mendukung sekali. Malah rata2 dah begitu :)) :)). Perbedaan yg menarik untuk topik berikut :)) :)). |
| Menyenangkan kok, gak bosen. No office politics, no obnoxious bosses, no nossy and competitive a.k.a. iri dengki colleagues.
Kalo di rumah bosen atau TV terlalu menggoda :) ya cari tempat lain.
Yang penting sih siapin tabungan yang banyak biar bisa menolak pekerjaan2 gak penting hehe. |
| Yang penting sih siapin tabungan yang banyak biar bisa menolak pekerjaan2 gak penting hehe. Exactly!! Exactly!! *sigh* Si Sop ngirim artikel di NY times bagus banget: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/26/science/26tier.html. Gue suka mikir terutama belakangan ini, soal kematian: gue mikir, apa yg paling gue kangenin nanti. Yg pasti bukan kerjaan kantor ato kerjaan2 gak penting lainnya cuma buat melewati waktu, gak peduli seberapa cinta gue sama kerjaan itu ato seberapa hebat gue di kerjaan itu. So... close that door :)). But that's just me, the weird one :p. |
| Yg bikin gue bingung setelah baca komen2 di sini (bukan karena komen elo yah Pet, tapi karena pas elo komen terakhir :p), kenapa schedule seperti itu dianggap membosankan yah? Padahal kan ada elemen experiment (masak yg rumit, mana tau jadi katering), volunteer work(membantu sesama), dan belajar bahasa (mana tau jadi guru les).
Dan yg juga menarik, gue perhatiin memang orang2 Asia (gak cuma teman2 di sini tapi juga temen2 gue org Singapur, China, apalah) lebih sering bilang hal2 seperti ini membosankan karena untuk kita, kalo gak kerja (dan kerja yg 'meaningful'), ngapain? Mereka lebih sering bilang, if I don't work I'll die, so I work until I die. Sementara kalo gue cerita ke temen2 gue yg org Swiss, dia mendukung sekali. Malah rata2 dah begitu :)) :)). Perbedaan yg menarik untuk topik berikut :)) :)). kalo gue bilang siy ven, schedule elo itu menarik, kurang lebih schedule gue pagi2 almost spt itu cumaa...kalo gue ditamba dengan urusan anak2, so yang jam elo baking2 before lunch biasanya gue either ke park or gym kids or play group. menurut gue lagi being a stay at home mum itu ga membosankan koq, iya siy once in the blue moon penyakit bosan pasti akan datang, tapi semua orang juga gitu kan baik yang kerja dan yang ga. elo akan amaze dey ntar kalo misalnya elo decided to stay at home, schedule elo itu blom tentu bisa elo complete in a day, kalo gue ngerasa dari pagi kita bangun sampe jam 12 itu waktu cepet banget berlalunya. belom ngapa2in eh tau2 uda harus jemput bandit2 itu lagi. mungkin kalo untuk orang asia, kalo mereka ga kerja mo ngapaian lagi kali? maybe they don't think that explore another options of life itu interesting....sperti kata elo ke museum or library or doing some arts, kalo disini bisa spend day at the beach too... Buat mereka they have to work, work keep them busy and alive and of course earn money, doing those things (museum, art,etc) only for holiday-makers, so they work hard then they go holiday and when on holiday they do those arty museum things. mungkin loh, itu pendapat gue aza.
makanya kalo di indonesia, orang2 selalu harus kerja dan kerja, setelah mereka pensiun or ga bisa kerja lagi, yang ada tinggal sakit2an, uangnya cuma abis untuk bayar rumah sakit or dokter. kalo di luar negeri spertinya mereka balance, ga diperbudak oleh pekerjaan, alhasil waktu mereka retired mereka bisa holiday kesana dan kesini, so judulnya menurut gue mereka menikmati hidup, not being a slave of work and work. gitzuuu....sorry kepanjangan commentnya :D
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 | Jadwalnya asik banget! Ini juga impian gua someday...
Apanya yang ngebosenin? Gua juga kalo mampu hidup kayak gitu, pengen juga tuh nerusin les Mandarin dan Perancis gua yang cuma sampe level 1 itu *blush* Terus belajar bikin kue, belajar motret, belajar jahit baju. Olahraga tiap hari, keluar sama temen2. Semoga ya suatu hari nanti *tos Venny dan Sinta* |
 | Gue pernah kerja, gue pernah jadi housewife .. Gue udah jalanin roster harian elu itu, dan gue hepi for 1 atau 2 bulan kali .. abis itu bosenn bowwww ... udah gitu kalau elu sendiri loaded ..enggak perlu tergantung sama orang lain ( or your husband secara financial ) okay lah ,.. tapi kalau udah pernah earn duit sendiri terus tau2 tergantung sama orang lain, stress looo
gue kok serius gini sihh .. go for it Ven kalau emang itu impian elu hehehehehe
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 | Sepertinya bener, baca dari komen yg lainnya....bisa jadi setelah beberapa waktu jalani rutinisme yang baru, kita akan bosen lagi..hmmmh tapi gimana ya? Hidup seharusnya penuh 'warna'..biarpun kadang2 warna itu bukan 'our favorites' =)
idealnya, semakin banyak kegiatan yg padat, harus diimbangi dengan waktu untuk cooling/refreshing. Jadinya bisa tetap semangat dan punya tenaga baru untuk jalani rutinisme berikutnya yang bakal kita hadapi =)
sooo....tetap semangat!!
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| =))
Venny masih mendingan bisa mikirin schedule lain untuk gantiin rutinitas..kalau saya malah pengen bisa jalani hari tanpa ada jadwal apapun yg di scheduled sebelumnya, tapi apa adanya spontaneously .... tapiii...mungkinkah? =) |
 | Hi there,
gw ikutan comment ya..... tulisan lo interesting jg buat gw...
well, after 6 months stay-at-home-doing-nothing.... benernya si enak si hidup kaya gt..n gini2 ya... waktu cepat berlalu...apa karena ada di northern hemisphere ya.... cuman ya... lama lama asli bosen si..... |
 | Kalau ada orang yang punya jadwal harian mirip2 seperti diatas, gua bakalan jadi orang yang pertama sirik ama orang itu ... hehehe ...
Untuk gua pribadi, mungkin sedikit dimodifikasi: nonton konser klasik di malam hari, mampir ke art gallery di siang hari, nonton bioskop ampe 2-3 film sekaligus, makan all you can eat ama bff atau baca manga di samping balkon .... sighhh ... |
| Duhh, kesannya gua rakus banget yaa ... hahaha ... soal dimana aja, bisa menuh2in postingan loe dengan nama2 hotel+resto, hehehe ... cuman yang gua makan untuk 2 bln terakhir: all you can eat tuh the cafe nya mulia, airlangga nya ritz, ayce chinese food di resto daerah slipi (namanya red apaa gitu), ampe ayce nya poke sushi.
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 | mo ikutan komen yah, this is an interesting article...
mengambil keputusan buat stay at home buat orang yang udah biasa kerja memang sepertinya ga gampang... apalagi dengan kultur budaya asia yang " I will die if I don't work"...
Aku sendiri skr karena stuck ga ada working visa disini ya no choice jadi cuman bisa stay at home doing anything I want to do.... Dulu2 sih aku mikirnya emang ga mungkin betah dirumah mulu, ga kerja, dll ... kaya apa yang orang2 pikirin, tp setelah aku jalanin kok ya ok2 aja lho...
Mungkin situasi disini beda dengan di Indo yah... kalo aku back to indo even for 1-2 months, aku bener2 ga betah sih diem dirumah... tp I dunno why disini gue berasa fine2 aja, lot of things to do even you don't work at the office. Banyak temen2 Indo gue yang nanya, jadi elo biasa sehari2 ngapain aja? sering banget ditanya begitu, in fact plenty of things to do while you got your free time :)
So I am still thinking, if I get my working visa someday, will I work later? or I just continue doing what I like to do....
At the end, we have to figure out what the best thing in our life that we really want to achieve to make our life meaningful. Surely, the answer is not only by working :)
sorry panjang :) |
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